Chapter Four
She watched as a blurry figure of her father Nicholas turned the corner of her bed. He hunched over and she heard him gag. The sounds of retching and vomit hitting and rustling the thin plastic trash bag filled the room. Tears immediately started to form in her eyes by seeing her father unharmed and full of life. She wiped her tears quickly on her shoulder as she unconsciously squeezed her stuffed rabbit out of comfort, surprised that it was even there in her arms. She put her glasses on and turned her attention to the curtain as it was drawn. There she saw her father Jack emerge with a nurse trying to peek over his shoulder.She watched as he smiled and his eyes lit up when their eyes met. He quickly rushed over to his bent over husband. “Jesus Christ, Nicholas, are you alright?”“Yeah- I am. Just an upset stomach is all.” He groaned slightly as let his husband rub his back, wiping the corners of his mouth of stomach acid. “Not really a good thing to first show your goddaughter after she finally comes to huh?”“What?” Nicholas exclaimed and looked up to his daughter staring at him. “Oh god Octavia you’re okay! We’re so worried for you!” He said with a little too much enthusiasm. It sounded like his voice was on the verge of breaking. He cupped her face and she observed as his eyes flickered back and forth, up and down, but never meeting hers. “What happened? Why am I at the hospital?” She said weakly, still haven’t been able to fully process what she had just seen.“Oh, Dr. Lavoro, I didn’t know you… Um, had a daughter.” The nurse said from behind the three of them, shifting uncomfortably where she stood. Nicholas only turned his view and opened his mouth to explain himself, before he was cut off by his husband.“Goddaughter actually. Nicholas was just visiting us and checking if we were updated on our lectures after he had come from work. The word of God can only rest on Saturday you know.” Nicholas pulled his necklace from underneath his shirt as stood up straight and smoothed his shirt. He cleared his throat, then pursed his lips when he tasted acid. “That is right. Well said Jack.”Nicholas patted his husband’s back, “I’m sorry if there was any- confusion of the sort. As Octavia’s godfather, her health is important to me as well and just like her father, I only want the best for her. So please excuse my reaction.”The three of them watched as the nurse relaxed a little, a small smile bended her lips upwards. “You two are fine. Though I will say that Octavia may have to stay here for a day just for some testing, to see what had caused her fainting and the inability to wake up. But, she’ll probably be home, Mr. Rodin, before tomorrow ends.”“Well that’s good to hear, isn’t it sweetheart?” Jack asked, looking back. Octavia nodded. “Well… If that’s all then I’ll leave you three alone, but before I go, do you two have any questions?” She asked. They both thought about it for a moment. Jack looked back at Octavia then at the window, the sky was starting to darken. “Octi, do you feel comfortable staying here by yourself? Because doesn’t the hospital allow family to stay with their child?” He asked the nurse. Octavia felt as fear immediately struck her as she thought about what she had just witnessed. She knew it was just a dream but her fear of something happening was strong, and didn’t want anything happening to her father.“I think I’ll be fine, dad.”“Are you sure?”“Yeah I am.” Jack smiled at her and ruffled her hair, he chuckled.“Well, you’re quite the brave girl aren’t you?”“I’m sorry to interrupt, but if she’s going to be staying the night, then she'll need to be assigned a room and get into a gown. We could do that now so you three could spend the rest of the visiting hours to continue to situate yourselves if needed.”“Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot about protocol.”“You’re fine Dr- I mean Mr. Lavoro. You’re off duty and here for family anyways, but let's take her to her new room.” She went over to Octavia and disconnected the heart rate monitor. Octavia held her stuffed rabbit as she led the three of them through the hospital and to the observation wing.“You may have to do a little more paperwork Mr. Rodin, if that’s okay with you.”“Well, whatever is necessary for my daughter.”“Alright then, you two help her get accustomed while I get her her gown and the remaining paperwork.” They heard the tapping of her shoes becoming more and more faint, until they couldn’t hear it at all as they entered the room.Nicholas sighed in relief and lowered his voice, “So, how are you doing Octi? Are you feeling alright? Does your head still hurt?” Octavia shook her head shortly and timidly. “No, it doesn’t.”“Well that’s good…” He then knelt down to her level and hugged her tightly, maybe just a little too tight. “Octi, I just wanted to say that, I’m sorry for not realizing earlier your headaches were such a problem, I didn’t know that they had gotten so bad.” She was taken aback by this. “It’s not your fault dad, I thought it was starting to go away too. It sort of just came back out of nowhere after you came home, it just got bad really quick.”“She is right Nikki, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it.” Jack placed his hand on his back. “I should have seen it coming too if that was the case. Don’t be so hard on yourself about something that we couldn’t prevent because we didn’t have foresight. Besides, you’ve had headaches that strong before, I know you have. We just treated it as another spell and nothing else.” Nicholas’s eyes darted to the floor, his mouth opened to protest but instead he sighed and chuckled. “Alright, you two win.” He rubbed his daughter’s arms up and down, “Are you sure you’re going to alright by yourself honey?”“Yeah I will, don’t worry about it dad.”“Well then I suppose it’s settled. It’s a good thing that I thought to bring your rabbit. I had a feeling that they were going to make you stay overnight, even if you… didn’t wake up or not.” Nicholas shook his head, “Sorry I should be thinking of those types of things, especially right in front of you.” He smiled at her as he ruffled her hair and then looked towards the door. Confident that the nurse wasn’t near, he placed a kiss on top of her forehead and hugged her again tightly before picking himself off the floor.Octavia felt as her body twisted and internally soured. She didn’t want to hear nothing about not being able to wake up or anything of the sort, especially after what she had witnessed. She wanted to tell her fathers what she had seen, but for some reason she couldn’t allow herself to. She didn’t want them to worry any more than they had to.Eventually the nurse came back with a gown and the rest of the paperwork. She was left alone for privacy and opened the door when she was ready. She was set in bed, had the clasp set on her finger, then the nurse put an identification tag on her wrist. She told them that they had around 45 minutes until visiting hours were over and before she left, Nicholas apologized for his abrupt vomiting.“Well, we’re gonna have to leave soon honey, we only have about ten minutes before we’re kicked out of here.” Jack sighed, instinctively tucking his daughter in. Octavia held her rabbit and tucked it close to her chest, fidgeting with the wooden whittled cross as they both sat in silence. “Hey Octavia, if those nurses give you any trouble or hear any trouble make sure to tell me, I’ll set them straight.” Nicholas piped up. Octavia smiled bittersweetly, “Don’t worry dad, I will.” Nicholas smiled back at her, “Good.” he reached over and gave her a kiss on top of her head.“This is probably one of the only times that I wished that I had work tomorrow, then I would at least give you some company or check on you when I could.”“It’s okay dad, I’ve told you that I’ll be fine by myself.”“Listen to your daughter Nicholas. I know you are just as worried as I am but you are in no good condition to be working. You fell asleep while waiting and now you have an empty stomach. You’ll probably end up sleeping way into the afternoon tomorrow.” Jack pointed out. The both of them could see his face become slightly red as he cleared his throat again, averting eye contact from the both of them. Then all their attention was pointed towards the nurse telling them that visiting hours were now over and they had to leave. Jack gave Octavia a couple goodbye and goodnight kisses on her cheek as Nicholas smiled as he waved goodbye. She asked if the lights could be turned off due to their overwhelming brightness and the nurse obliged. After the nurse had left, she was completely alone.She laid down as her mind was immediately swarmed with the same scene over and over again. She desperately tried to think why she would even imagine such a thing, but no reason that seemed plausible came. Never in her life would she imagine or even think of her father dying or taking his own life. From what she could remember, she never hated him. He never wronged her and always tried to be there for her whenever he could. She could feel her throat tighten and her teeth grimace as she got frustrated with herself. She covered her eyes with her hand as tears started to gather and then remembered the clamp on her finger.She heard the beeps on the heart monitor become more frequent in rhythm and realized she couldn’t cry. Otherwise a nurse would be notified and would see her distraught. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to come up with some lie that wouldn’t prevent the nurses from bringing Jack back due to her current state. So she wiped her face of tears and took a couple of breaths to calm down. She heard as the monitor’s beeps slowed down and finally returned to normal. She sniffled as she squinted through the window, watching as the color of the sky was starting to transform into a deep sea green and the treeline was turning into a solid black. She gave a shaky sigh as she squeezed her stuffed rabbit once again. She hid her face behind it, wondering what her fathers’ were going to do now that she was gone for the night.“Hey Nikki, are you doing okay? You’ve been real quiet ever since we’ve left the hospital.” Nicholas was knocked out of his trance, he did realize that he had been staring out the car window for most of the ride home.“Yeah I’m fine honey… Just tired.” He gave a small yawn as he leaned back in his seat. He felt his husband take his hand. “So an upset stomach huh?” Jack asked, squeezing it. “It was- the only reason I could think of at the time, and I’m glad that it was. I didn’t realize that Octi had woken up at that time before you pointed it out.” Nicholas squeezed his hand back.“I was, actually a bit surprised when you threw up. Normally something bothers you for a couple days before your body betrays you, then you tell me… but I can’t recall anything recently that would bother you. So tell me, what’s on your mind right now?” Jack asked, glancing at his husband. Nicholas squeezed his hand in pulses as he tapped the side of the door with a single finger. He kept parting his lips to speak but couldn’t draw out the words. Jack glanced at him again, “Are you just worried for Octi?” Nicholas took a deep breath, “Yes- Well, partly- That’s partly the reason why-” He swallowed as he felt his tongue become swollen in his mouth.“Slow down honey, take your time, you’re stumbling.”“...The other part is that I just feel- I just feel disappointed in myself for not catching on earlier.” He groaned, shaking his head. He felt his face warm up, feeling embarrassed that he was struggling to speak about something so simple. He started to run his fingers through his bangs, “You know, I mean, I should have been able at least recognized that it was something was going wrong, I am a licensed doctor with a-”“Honey, please it’s alright.” Jack interrupted abruptly, squeezing his hand a bit tighter as he sighed. “Like I said earlier, don’t be so hard on yourself. We both didn’t know it was that bad, hell I don’t think even Octi realized how truly bad it was. We just thought that Octavia’s headaches were just her normal and light sensitivity headaches. So don’t think that you’re a bad father because we didn’t have any idea that they were that… major. Even Octavia said it herself that it just came back suddenly. So it isn’t anyone's fault, not hers, not mine, and not yours…” He sighed, “Okay?” Nicholas felt himself swallow again and sigh through his nose. “Okay.”
They both continued to hold hands as Jack focused on the road, his fingers now tapping nervously on the wheel as another question brewed in his head.“Nicholas… I don’t understand why… why you keep doing this to yourself. It always ends up this way whenever something bothers you. I mean, you know you can come to me about anything, you do the same for me whenever I doubt myself or when I’m having a bad day. So why won’t you allow yourself to do the same?” They stopped at a stop sign. Jack turned to his left and saw that his husband had sunken in his seat a little, his eyes blankly darted straight ahead to the road down to the floorboard. He could tell that he was deep in thought. Jack quickly looked to his left then to his right to see if anyone was coming or watching. When he was sure that the both of them were alone, he kissed his hand.The kiss brought Nicholas back to attention, his face now a bit red and a bit flustered. He sat up more straight in his seat, he squeezed his hand again and intertwined his arm a little more with his. Nicholas sighed himself, “I- I don’t know why honey. I just…” he went silent. He tried to open his mouth once again but kept stopping himself before he could say anything more. Jack waited hesitantly for a response, but came to a conclusion that at this point that his husband was going to say no more. He squeezed his hand again and tucked his arm into his husband’s elbow, continuing on home. “It’s alright Nikki. We can talk about it at another time, probably another time where we aren’t as… so tired.” He yawned as he turned the corner, Nicholas felt his heart become a little more heavy with guilt. The only thing distracting the feeling was seeing their home’s windows being one of very few still being lit in the far distance.They opened the door and were reminded of the state of disarray the kitchen was in when they had left. A chair was knocked down on the floor where Octavia had collapsed. The tomatoes and peppers were left in the sink and their bottoms had gotten soft and mushy by the stagnant water in the tub. The microwave still had a defrosted pound of ground beef that was sitting in its own cooked hemoglobin. Luckily the only thing that wasn’t ruined was the uncooked spaghetti that Jack hadn’t had a chance to boil.“Oh that’s right.” They both thought. Nicholas took off his glasses, rubbing underneath his eyes as he sighed. “Should we just make it tomorrow or… I don’t know…” He watched as Jack picked up the dining chair from the floor and put it back into place.“We can make it tomorrow since we already have the meat defrosted... Nothing isn’t really ruined, but I do want to make you something to eat since you threw up.”“Oh honey that’s… not necessary…” Nicholas started to wave away but slowly stopped and grew quiet as he saw the stern look that his husband gave him. It was the same type of look that he remembered that his husband’s mother Maria would give to him any time he would try to say otherwise when they were children. “Oh how time passes down even the littlest of things.” Nicholas thought to himself as he went to the kitchen to help clean up.He put away the meat into the fridge while Jack dried the vegetables. After that, Jack then went outside with the pot and what Nicholas assumed was pouring it into the yard after hearing the water crash onto the grass.Nicholas leaned on his hand and could feel his eyes starting to become heavy. He wasn’t used to staying up for this long. The last time he did was when Octavia was nothing but an infant. Reminiscing when both him and Jack would have to comfort her to get her back to sleep made him smile gingerly.
He felt as the feeling was almost soured immediately as he thought about Octavia alone at the hospital. He could feel his nausea slowly come back as he stared down at the off white linoleum floor. His whole body felt strange. It felt floaty but yet tied down and restrained. He didn’t know what to think, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to have a train of thought.“Here you go honey, hopefully that fills your stomach a little… Hey, are you alright?” Nicholas snapped his attention back at his husband, “Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m just sleepy and I was just thinking about Octavia and how she’s doing at the hospital.”Jack sighed and sat down right beside him with a sandwich of his own, “Nikki I know you’re worried, and I am too, but there really isn’t much that we can do at the moment. Hopefully it was just a spell, it's probably what it was anyways.”“I know, and you’re probably right, but you know how I am with her.”“I know, I do. Just, don’t simmer on it too much okay? Take it from me.”Nicholas chuckled wordlessly for a moment and smiled tiredly and tenderly at him. He leaned his head onto his shoulder and Jack just smiled back gently as he held him by his hip. They stayed like that for a moment before Nicholas’s head slid off his shoulder and he jolted back awake. He rubbed his eyes, “Sorry, I started to fall asleep… Let’s… save this for bed.” He yawned, giving his husband a kiss on the cheek.Jack smiled and shook his head as he gave him a kiss back. They ate rather quickly since it was just a simple sandwich, especially Nicholas with his empty stomach. After they were done, Jack put the plates and the pot in the sink. “Do you want me to help honey?” Nicholas asked. “No, because I’m- not doing them. It can wait until tomorrow.” He yawned, turning off the kitchen light.They did their usual routine of checking locks and turning off lights. Nicholas got undressed and collapsed in bed, not even caring if his husband saw his scrawny body. Jack turned on the fan and got into the covers. “Are you going to be warm enough?”“Yeah… I’ll be fine…” Nicholas mumbled. Half of his face was already deep into the pillows just as his body was, snug in the blankets. Jack shifted closer and held his husband’s frail body. He watched as he tiredly dug and rested his head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around his torso.Jack smiled tenderly yet worriedly at him. He gave him one more kiss on his forehead before they both fell asleep in a warm quilted chartreuse green sea, hoping that tomorrow will be alright.
Chapter Five
Coming soon :)